In short, it’s fucked up.

Look, dating in this day and age is out of control. There’s no such thing as just meeting someone the “old fashioned way.” Nowadays everyone is meeting their significant other online, in DMs, and whatever the latest dating app is called. I am what you call an exception to the rule. Love and relationships are endangered. I’d much rather meet someone while I’m out as opposed to swiping right based on a picture. I find that there are so many more bad apples on the app than those that I meet in person.

Now granted, I know guys find it easier to approach a woman when the app is the middle ground. HOWEVER, am I the only one that thinks this is just an excuse for people not to have social skills? I mean really, its easy to be funny through texts and DMs but so many of ya’ll lack that same charisma in person.

Dating needs a makeover.

Ladies, how many times have you met a guy on an app, whether it be Tinder, Bumble, Ok Cupid, or whoever, get to the date and all you hears is crickets. It’s because your man ain’t got no social skills. I don’t get it. Technology can be the devil if you let it. Why should I have to entertain someone in my DMs because you don’t have the heart to approach my in person? Sounds real cowardly to me. Back in the day, you had to have character and charisma to get a girl, now all you need is a good one liner or a few jokes you found off google. No one has intimate personal conversations anymore, and it’s quite sad.

I’m enjoying the 00’s but I wish dating was more like the 90s. More personal, dudes actually care about you and want to get to know you. Now, its about, giving it up because that’s all they want and they barely remember your name. That shit is so wack.

Shut up, I know I’m late.

I had to get my thoughts together first. Now, that they are, I’ve got a few reasons why I should’ve been invited to the Lemon Pepper Wings Kickback. Otherwise known as the blackest party ever.

1. I’m black too.

This was a black excellence gathering. It really should’ve been every hard working black person in the city of Atlanta that ain’t got no felonies. Who doesn’t love a Lemon Pepper Wings Kickback? I’m just saying. C’mon Issa and Yvonne, ya’ll know I should’ve came. It’s called the Lemon Pepper Wings Kickback for goodness sake. There should’ve been a fist illuminated in the sky like the bat symbol so all the educated black people knew where they needed to go. Donald Glover was there, hey bae. Mack Wilds was there, hey future husband. I’m super tight about this.

2. Samuel L. Jackson was in attendance.

Anywhere that Samuel L. Jackson is at is where I need to be. That n*gga makes every f*ckin curse word sound amazing. He’s also been in damn near every movie you can think of, really. Think about all the movies you’ve watched in your lifetime, I can almost guarantee you that Sammy has been in half of them. The dude is f*cking amazing. I wish I could’ve just been in his presence. That man is more than slept on. People always mention Denzel but don’t you ever forget Samuel L. mufuckin’ Jackson. You hear me?

3. It’s called a Lemon Pepper Wings Kickback.

My nigga friend, if that’s not THEE blackest shit you’ve ever heard, I don’t know what is. I pride myself on owning and embracing my melanin infused skin. Who doesn’t love lemon pepper wings? Well, if I’m being honest, I don’t care for them HOWEVER, I will eat the shit out of some honey barbecue. Ya’ll know that shit is good.

 

I’m more surprised that ya’ll are surprised about Harvey Weinstein.

How many times have we heard of men abusing their power to intimidate women into doing what they want. Its been going on for years, and thats not to negate the claims these women made, I’m just genuinely not surprised. How often do you hear about a man in power abusing his authority? I know I hear it all the time. I have a bigger issue with all the men in Hollywood acting like they had no idea that this has been going on for decades. That, I find extremely hard to believe. Ben Affleck already caught a stray from acting like he didn’t know. Then was accused of doing the exact same thing. Harvey Weinstein is the epitome of a prick and sexual predator.

Men in Hollywood need to use their privilege to stand up for women. I know exactly what it feels like to be extremely uncomfortable in the vicinity of a man that is just creepy. There’s this thing about women that makes men think we’re here only to appease you. When in all actuality that’s not the case at all. No one wants to have their ass grabbed “just because” or their breast felt on because you “saw something on their shirt.” Seriously? That shit doesn’t work. We always here “she didn’t care, she laughed.” That’s because we’re uncomfortable, jackass. Harvey Weinstein clearly never got the hint.

Don’t speak up just because everyone else is.

What I mean when I say that is, don’t say something just because everyone else is doing it. Only speak up if you truly believe that what’s going on is completely wrong. Don’t say how “appalled” you are just because everyone else is and you want to fit in. Speak up because your mom, sister, wife, daughter, girlfriend or any woman goes through this shit on a daily basis. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been sexually harassed just walking down the street let alone by someone I know. It is so mind – numbingly uncomfortable. Then you don’t know what to say, which makes you even more confused. Trying to find the strength to speak up when your career could suffer is difficult.

In writing this I’ve written and erased more sentences trying to figure out how to tell my own story. The many stories that I have, there’s only a few that really stand out because it was people I love and trusted. Those are the ones that hurt the most because you think that they’d never do something like that to you. Unfortunately, so many women, including myself, have been wrong. I’ve had someone rub my arm for a little too long or maybe offer me gifts in exchange for other favors, like modeling said gifts. Its not okay and it needs to stop. All you men out there, don’t act like you’ve spoken up every time a woman told you she was being harassed. Most men do everything in their power to justify their friends’ bad behavior and its bullshit.

Men need to speak up for what’s right, not because of the crowd. Half these men speaking up don’t care nor do they want to admit they were wrong.

If you see something, say something. damn.