Hands down the most confusing and frustrating time in my life right now.

If you’ve been reading this blog for awhile (or at least the about me section – just my wishful thinking), you know I’m only 23, I’ll be 24 in November. This is a really weird time for me if I’m being honest with you guys. I have never in my life been lost, confused, sad, happy, depressed, and anxious simultaneously before. This is actually pretty new for me. After a few discussions with friends and my parents I decided to put together a list about your 20s. Considering I’ve still got 6 more years of this, take it with a grain of salt because its bound to change.

1. Can you pay my bills? Can you pay my telephone bills?

Why didn’t anyone tell me that bills actually come every month, and on time at that! TUH! I’ve been financially independent from my parents for about 2 1/2 years now, but its been quite the adventure. I bought my own house a year ago and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve almost forgotten to pay my mortgage. Let alone my light bill. My cable has almost been cut off – scratch that – its been cut off and I was actually okay with it because I was broke as hell at the time. I got rid of Comcast just because of that – I don’t even watch half the stuff on tv anyway.

2. People my age are getting engaged and having babies and shit. TUH!

I’m just trying to keep my edges and get my hair to the top of my booty. A few people I went to high school with already have kids and while I’m happy for them – I can’t imagine pushing a baby out of my tiny frame right now. Especially not in the name of love. Do you know how much love you have to have for a person to push out another person that could potentially be a demon? Do you know how much love it takes to commit to keeping someone else alive? I have friends that are planning weddings and in relationships (I clearly need more single friends) and I think its great for them. To see them so happy makes me happy. However, a ring and commitment literally gives chills, and not in a good way. Every one moves at a different pace though.

3. I’m at the awkward stage where I’m still young enough to party but too old to go out the night before work.

If you’re in your 20s, you know exactly what I’m talking about. See, I’m out of college, for two years to be exact. But I’m not so far removed, that I can’t go back and still fit in. I can still go out and party but the problem is, I wake up at 5am to go to the gym everyday followed by working for 8 hours, my schedule doesn’t allow for that. See, when I was in school, I could go to Thirsty Thursdays and have enough left in the tank to be fully alert during my 8 am class the next day. Fast forward to today, let me go out and get shit faced – getting up for work the next day is going to feel like stopping for gas in Bankhead at 3am – its really not a good idea. You might get shot.

4. Dating – In Atlanta – In Your 20s – Nuff Said.

I really shouldn’t give this any words, but since you’re reading, I’ll indulge – a little. As I mentioned above, I have a degree, a full time job, I write on this blog damn near everyday chasing my dreams, I have my own house – not an apartment, a grown ass dog that I raised from puppyhood and I’m financially independent. Everything I just listed makes me over qualified to find a man in this city. I don’t want to hear it, I have done online dating, I’ve actually tried to get set up before – it doesn’t work. Being intelligent and ambitious is negro repellant. You wan’t to stay single? Be smart. Be stable with no kids and no drama. I don’t know if its in the genetically modified foods or the strip clubs but being a single black woman in Atlanta is hard AF.

For the 3 years that I’ve been in my 20s, I’ve been through quite a bit. It’s been fun though. I’ve laughed until I cried, I’ve cried uncontrollably and screamed my head off in confusion and frustration. All this talk about your 20s being the most defining decade of your life can freak you out. So much pressure, for no reason. Hell, I get asked about grandkids about twice a week from everyone. I get asked about dating and to be honest, I don’t have an answer for anyone. I don’t know – anything. But are you really supposed to? Who says you have to have the answers right now? This is why social media is the devil. It’s necessary but its also unnecessary. Just make sure you take care of you sis.

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