Finding thigh highs that fit is like Joe Budden not being bitter.

So, I’m sure a vast majority of thick women can attest to this – thigh highs don’t fit us. I went shopping today with a friend of mine and we both have similar body types although her ass is A LOT heavier than mine. Nevertheless, both of us have thighs that could muffle a car alarm. Basically, its quite a bit of thickness. While attempting to shop today – we discovered that we couldn’t find any thigh highs that fit us. At all.

I’m just trying to figure out which demographic thigh highs are meant for, because clearly having any bit of curves is out of the question. Unless you’re shaped like a tooth pic – you might as well count them out. Every single brand I saw today was made for a taller thinner white woman. Being short, thick, curvy and needing a wide calf boot was off the table. I would imagine that shoemakers would want to appeal to a wider audience than just Susan and Martha. It just doesn’t make any sense to me. I’m going to need for these boots to start being made with spandex like the Balenciaga ones Trina was rocking a couple days ago. I know what you’re saying – “just buy the balenciaga ones.”

Let me tell you something, I don’t give a damn how much money I get, I’m not paying that much money for no damn boots that I can only wear for 2 months out of the year. I live in Atlanta. And let me just say this, when I was scouring the net to find a picture for this post – every single woman modeling a pair of thigh highs was eggshell white. Pasty white. Non-tinted fresh out the paint can – white. See my point?