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Shut up, I know I’m late.

I had to get my thoughts together first. Now, that they are, I’ve got a few reasons why I should’ve been invited to the Lemon Pepper Wings Kickback. Otherwise known as the blackest party ever.

1. I’m black too.

This was a black excellence gathering. It really should’ve been every hard working black person in the city of Atlanta that ain’t got no felonies. Who doesn’t love a Lemon Pepper Wings Kickback? I’m just saying. C’mon Issa and Yvonne, ya’ll know I should’ve came. It’s called the Lemon Pepper Wings Kickback for goodness sake. There should’ve been a fist illuminated in the sky like the bat symbol so all the educated black people knew where they needed to go. Donald Glover was there, hey bae. Mack Wilds was there, hey future husband. I’m super tight about this.

2. Samuel L. Jackson was in attendance.

Anywhere that Samuel L. Jackson is at is where I need to be. That n*gga makes every f*ckin curse word sound amazing. He’s also been in damn near every movie you can think of, really. Think about all the movies you’ve watched in your lifetime, I can almost guarantee you that Sammy has been in half of them. The dude is f*cking amazing. I wish I could’ve just been in his presence. That man is more than slept on. People always mention Denzel but don’t you ever forget Samuel L. mufuckin’ Jackson. You hear me?

3. It’s called a Lemon Pepper Wings Kickback.

My nigga friend, if that’s not THEE blackest shit you’ve ever heard, I don’t know what is. I pride myself on owning and embracing my melanin infused skin. Who doesn’t love lemon pepper wings? Well, if I’m being honest, I don’t care for them HOWEVER, I will eat the shit out of some honey barbecue. Ya’ll know that shit is good.